Listcrawlers Greenville: North Carolina

The lyrics of this song are so fvcking powerful for a survivor of extreme forms of childhood abuse. I think it’s what it’s about. I’m in fvcking tears 😭. Everything she describes everything she says about her birthday, not knowing if she wants to go or stay, describes perfectly the extent of the mental torture experienced by the children of highly, dangerously toxic parents, that for years, have forcibly induced a total disconnect of reality, of self consciousness, in their child to force them into living according to the reality and consciousness of someone else, and specifically theirs, by using as many and any mean they deem necessary to retrieve this feeling of being in control of it. All there’s left is a shell, you’re just a billboard used for their promotion, for their virtue signalling, told to walk but not to breath, or think, or feel, on our own. That’s the root of her ambivalence, going or leaving is the feeling and questioning staying in this party or leave it The party is their game, the delusion that they’re better because of what’s pinned on their billboard, and the confettis on her body are what on the outside makes her so ‘sparkling’, so more worthy to them, in their delusion, but clearly not in hers, not for her sake, for her benefit, this party/game/delusion doesn’t belong to her and makes no sense according to her state of consciousness.